• by Sharon Amali
• March 10, 2023

We talk of a free society, a free church, a church where we come as we are and are not judged. But I know that we judge each other every second. We judge others by the way they look, dress, and talk or by what we hear about them. We smile at them and when they turn their backs we start to ridicule them. We stand in church pulpits giving passionate sermon after another, and then go off to turn the sermon into an irony.
I wouldn’t say this to anyone, but only to you my diary. I am part of the people who make others hate my God. I am part of the people who proclaim to love the Lord but deny His power (2 Timothy 3:5). I go on living out each day just like yesterday. I know my life is not right with the Lord. I know there are things holding me back. I know I need to change. I know am in a cave that I need to get out of but sometimes I feel comfortable there; it is a place I know too well.

To be honest, I wish the church were a place where even I, respected as I am, would share freely with someone and not be judged.
I wish it were a place where we put off all the masks, acts and shows and become real with each other. I wish it were a place where I would see the pain on someone’s face and know that am not the only one that is struggling. I wish it were a place where I would be told that no, am not the worst, and that I can change. I wish the church were a place where I am accepted, whether I have money or not, no matter how I look.

My heart breaks for the wretch that I am. And I know am not the only wretch out here. Lord help us!! If the Lord were to come right now, I know I wouldn’t like it. (Rom 7:24-25)
Dear stranger, allow me sign off now. See, I am going off now to cry out to the LORD and to pray that He helps me out of this once more. The time is critical.  
Join me please in crying out to Jesus! He won’t send us away, but He will help us. 

...to be continued.